Shop Therapy

Black Friday. Cyber Monday. The days in between. All my cards are maxed out. 

For those four days I felt so much excitement. A high stemming from the ability to purchase all my smallest desires and imagining the smiles on my daughters’ face come Christmas Day. Most days I question every purchase, first contemplating whether it is a need or a want before actually pressing that glowing “complete purchase” button (most of my shopping is done via mobile because it allows me to avoid people. And lines. And people on line) but not for these four days. These four days I have no mental check and the sky is the limit. Well actually my credit limit is the limit but it feels like the sky compared to my check. And now that it’s over I feel so empty and lost. And I still want even though I don’t know what I want. I just came off a four day shopping high and now I’m going through withdrawal that looks a lot like bills. 

Shit.